Mom on My Mind

credit: email from Estée Lauder
for Mother's Day 2015

This week's horoscope from Ron Brezsny spoke to me:

In what ways do you most resemble your mother? Now is a good time to take inventory. Once you identify any mom-like qualities that tend to limit your freedom or lead you away from your dreams, devise a plan to transform them. You may never be able to defuse them entirely, but there's a lot you can do to minimize the mischief they cause. Be calm but calculating in setting your intention, Aquarius! P.S.: In the course of your inventory, you may also find there are ways you are like your mother that are of great value to you. Is there anything you could do to more fully develop their potential?

Since this is a style blog, I won't talk about my mom’s most cherished qualities, including her kindness, infinite love, generosity, communication abilities, and compassion — on this page it's things related to fashion.

In terms of style, mom was my idol. I always adored my mom's style when I was a girl, and tried to learn everything I could about being an elegant woman from her — even though she and Aunt Eleanor (her stylish sister) were self taught. As she grew older, though, her choices became identifiably “old ladyish,” as her go-to outfit became one of her many designer jogging suits. That's something I hope to avoid, although I suppose that my Eileen Fisher skirted leggings could come to be viewed as the old lady staple of my generation.

I have four pairs of skirted leggings in my wardrobe,
and take two when I travel.

Mom knew quite a bit about personal style, and many of the practices she taught me, and advice she gave (and lived) hold true today. I'm grateful that she emphasized how important it was for me to cleanse and moisturize my face properly from an early age, although I've expanded the treated area to include my neck and chest area (everything visible above a bikini top). She routinely reinforced the importance of good grooming, dental hygiene and proper posture, while always encouraging me to feel good about myself. My siblings and I detested our semi-annual dentist visits, but we have good teeth as a result. Mom always made a point of complimenting me, no matter how awkward a phase I was in, about my beautiful features. So when my teeth were far too big for my face, she'd emphasize my bone structure and good skin, and tell me I'd “grow into” my teeth. It worked! I'd examine my skin and cheekbones, and forget about how goony I looked (whether or not I wore my cat-eye glasses with their ultra-thick lenses).

Lucky me!

I remember shopping trips to J.L. Hudson Company and B. Siegel in downtown Detroit, and outings on foot (three kids and a baby in the stroller) to our local Winkelman's and Himelhoch stores. Mom was frugal, but insisted on quality. A “value shopper” she knew when items would be marked down and waited for the sales. Often, the purpose of our trips were to make an installment payment on something she had in layaway, but we always browsed the latest fashion displays in the designer rooms. I've learned from her to identify what I want from the high end fashion pieces early each season, then wait for the inevitable 40-60% off sale. If I miss it because of this, I don't care. I don't really need any new clothing; when something actually is a “must have” I will pay for it.

Here are some photos of my elegant mother, at age 27 to 32.

What do you remember about your mother's style?